Suspense….

~

“Nigerian”  scams have been around for years  –   they used to come through on our fax machines.   Now there‘s a machine in decline!   Our company business cards don’t have fax numbers on them anymore;  we actively encourage scan-to-email documents.

Anyway,  I was checking my spam folder today to make sure nothing legitimate had found itself filed there.   Along with all the lovely young ladies who’d like to befriend and share photos with me, and pharmaceutical offers to help my body in amazing ways, there was this unfortunate, but somehow incredibly rich, lady needing my help.

Now, I know there is such a thing as a “suspense” account  but I love that a scam uses a word which has as one of its definitions:  A quality in a work of fiction that arouses excited expectation, anxiety or uncertainty about what may happen. 

Herewith;  a wonderfully fictitious situation that gave me a good laugh.

****

Greetings,Thursday, January 31, 2013 11:36 AM
From: “MRS JUSTINA” <mrsjjames@nokiamail.com>
To: undisclosed-recipients
Greetings,

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you; I am giving you my trust And wish you will give me back the trust i have given you. I believe that you will be Honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.

I am MRS. Justina Obasi from Cote d’Ivoire , I am 58 years old, I am suffering from a long time Cancer of the breast. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my Doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond next month, this is Because the cancer stage has reached a critical stage. I was brought up in a Motherless babies home, and was married to my late husband for twenty years we have only one child his name is Williams. My husband and I are true Christians, but quite unfortunately, he Died on the presidential election in our country.

Before his death we were both born again Christians. So after the death of my husband I sold all we have both my husband Company,Houses and car’s and Deposit the money  in one of the bank here in this country for security reason and the total amount is the sum of $ 7.2million dollars and it was deposited in a suspense account here in Cote d’Ivoire Presently, this money is still with the bank.

It is my last wish to see that this money is been invested into a very good LUCRATIVE VENTURE of your choice that will be giving out proceeds to be distributed each year Among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless baby вs, orphanage Homes and widows around. I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, But I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option.

I hope you will help see my last wishes come true.

Please kindly write me back for more detail.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Justina Obasi

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14 responses

  1. Wow. Such well written literature! We had a touch of Nigerian scamming at work when a suspicious package was delivered by mistake. We got a ton of faxes demanding its return, yada, yada, yada. Who knows what was in it? Very strange. That box never made it to Nigeria.

  2. We had to have the drug dog AND the bomb dog out…it was very exciting, I can tell you. I took pictures. The bomb dog gave me her business card. I’m a little jealous because its way nicer than mine–glossy with her picture on it. I ramble. My point is, whatever was inside was not drugs and not a bomb. So we lost interest and let the police have it.

  3. LOL! I love the terrible grammar on these emails. However, some years ago my mother got a call from a person in Jamaica, saying she had won the Jamaican lottery and could soon expect a check of $20 million US. Of course, they needed $4000 in fees and insurance in order to send the money to her, so my poor dementia-addled mother sent them a check. And another, and another, before my father finally took notice of all the money disappearing from their checking account. When he stopped the checks, the “Jamaican lottery” told my mother to send them cash. My brother said he found an envelope stuffed with 100-dollar bills tucked behind the Buddhist shrine in the kitchen. He claims he gave it to my father (no, I don’t trust my brother either), but nevertheless some $17,000 was lost to the scammers before my father called the police and filed a report. Thank goodness Mom never figured out how to use a computer and the internet! But I find it hard to laugh when I hear of some old person actually falling for the Nigerian treasury or Spanish lottery scam. These people have no heart once they realize they have a gullible victim on their hook.

  4. What’s wrong with this? I think you should help this woman out with her last wish. How heartless can you be?

    But, seriously……I feel so bad for people that have fallen for this garbage. Bad intranets! Bad! *hits scammers with a folded newspaper*

  5. ‘SUSPENSE account’? She says that the money is still with the bank…but how can we be sure? I have to be sure: the account is killing me!

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