Emjay gives herself the giggles….

~

My toilet roll holder is on my broken right hand side – so I took the roll off and would attempt to tear off the appropriate number of sheets with my left hand.  This would invariably result in either too much, too little,  ripped, scrunched paper or the roll catapulting across the room!   I increased the number of rolls on hand to cover for catapulted ones…….   but I soon found tissues to be so much easier:  

It was 4 or 5 days after my "trip" before I attempted to shower myself (I'd been doing a washcloth clean up tll then).  I thought that drying myself might be challenging but luckily the previous home owners were  giants and had installed the towel rack nearly as high off the ground as I am (I'm 5'8" tall and the top of the rail is at my ear).   After a shower I  just back up to the towel and wriggle; turn around and do the front.  I don't have to take the towel off the rack and struggle with getting it back up there!

  64 fl oz (1.89 ltr)  weighs about 4lbs (1.8kg)..  the first time I poured from a newly opened bottle using just my left hand nearly half the bottle of juice sort of "gulped" outwards staining the cupboards and floor in a sticky red mess.  I suppose I was sort of laughing as I attempted to clean it all up but really I just wanted a drink – and not necessarily cranberry juice by then: 

  The last few days have been sunny so I decided to see if any daffodils or iris were popping up. I spied some under the straggly rose bush ….  got too close, tangled my left arm in thorns and ended up on my bottom on the pavers.  It's difficult getting up from the ground with one arm in a sling and one in a bush!  (I'm turning into my mother!). 

And this I will never be able to recreate….. Tearing some paper off I managed to get my middle finger well and truly wedged inside that metal guide when the holder tipped over.   Yes,  my knuckle is bruised. . 

Thank God I go back to work tomorrow – I should be safer there. …… I mean how much trouble could I get into just answering the phone…….

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42 responses

  1. It's amazing how we take for granted what our bodies can do… Your great sense of humor makes it all sound entertaining, but I'm sure it's hard. I hope you recover soon!

  2. I cannot help but chuckle over the toilet paper! When we were potty training our girls, I remember listening in shock as my husband taught them to use 4 squares of toilet paper to wipe. OMG…that may work for a man but I am here to tell you that it is not near enough for a woman. I love your tissue box idea!! Very smart. Your towel rack is so high, I would have to jump up and down to reach it (I am 5 feet tall). I can imagine you in the rose bush, you poor thing. I hope your work environment is safe! I mean, it is not just answering the phone…what about driving there and entering the building, and what about the bathroom? Will you take your own tissue box?? I am worried already. Hope it goes OK!!!

  3. Oh Emjay! It's amazing how we can compensate for even the simplest things. I like your idea of Kleenex! 🙂 Actually, you just may be on to something there. Sounds way easier! Sorry about the spilled juice. Those bottles are very large & heavy. We've had a few half or so bottles spilled on the floor when one of my kids try to pour a glass. Hope your day at work tomorrow goes without incident (but I'm with the rest…looking forward to your post!) 😉

  4. You crack me up! What does not kill us makes us…have fodder for laughter. The towel rack and the giants, the paper towel holder, the tissues (smart girl with that one), and the rose bush. LOL, I was in the garden yesterday and got caught buy a bramble bush. Note to self: do not wear a knitted wool sweatercoat when gardening.I thought of you last night. Masha is out of town and I ate cookies and tortilla crisps for dinner, and watched Inspector Morse on the DVR. Ate on the couch. (man out of town, on my own)

  5. omgosh….I LUV the towel trick!! You are wonderful even under wet distress. Take Care and be ever sooo careful at work today. I would miss you terribly if you fell and hurt your working arm/hand and couldn't blog.
    Laughing,
    Denise ;p

  6. Oh dear I don't check in for a few days and you go tripping all over the place! I think you enjoyed the foot cast so much that you had withdrawal and just had to have another cast.
    Nasty place for a break. Best wishes and hugs – and the manservant can shave the armpits!

  7. Life is nothing but a long strange trip and if one dose not keep there humor close to themselves then in no time one will drive them selves off the deep end! you should have just used a straw on the bottle also I have recently seen in my drug store these covers you can put on with some sort of closure ties on both ends so one can take a shower by covering there casts! but like everything by the time one got one and got it to fit properly it would almost be time to have your cast off! and I know how hard it is to have gotten down on the ground and tried to get back up….Take it easy there Emjay

  8. You poor thing… and goofball! ;)Sounds like you need to be grounded to a recliner with one of those beer/soda can hats with straw tubing to your mouth (though there is still the toilet dilemma)… j/k

  9. Oh my goodness. That sounds like quite an adventure.I haven't been on Vox much and apparently missed the whole broken right hand bit, so here's a belated Get Well Soon! And stay out of trouble while getting well..

  10. LOL – yes the bottles seem to be of a devious design – perhaps it is a conspiracy to have us buy more than we actually drink! 🙂 I've managed all other liquids without incident.

  11. Luckily I wear a headset. I had thought about how lucky I was to have a headset as it would be difficult to use a handset and transfer calls with only one hand – I'd have to put the receiver down with a clunk and then transfer.

  12. Sorry for the delay in answering you… LOL your husband and the four squares!! Yes, I am a receptionist so most of my day is answering a switchboard but I have a headset so I really only need one hand to transfer the calls. I am getting better at signing for packages with my left hand – now I've had a week's practise. Re entering the building – in 2008 I had some extensive foot surgery and was in a cast and on crutches for 5 months. There was no disable access to our building and I struggled everyday to get in the door. I lobbied the building owners for disabled access and they installed one last year…. I never thought that I would be making use of it myself so soon! LOL.

  13. Thank you Amy Sue – it is pretty amazing how quickly we can adapt when we have to. By the time the manservant got home I was pretty proficient. The hardest thing about my week of work was actually being awake for that long LOL – I had lots of little naps during my week at home.

  14. I cracked myself up a lot during the time I was on my own. Really stupid things seemed to keep happening to me and I could see how funny it would loo to someone watching me. LOL – I love those sort of "meals" we have when husbands/partners are away – sometimes (quite often actually) I will eat cereal and yogurt for dinner.

  15. Thank you Denise – I was so happy about the high towel rail – I really don't know how I would've managed on my own trying to manipulate a towel well enough to get everywhere dry.

  16. LOL – when I went into that first foot cast the manservant was away and couldn't get home for 10 days; this time he didn't get home for 11 days… heaven forbid I ever really hurt myself!

  17. you're Amazon Woman (in height)! LOL – and I used to be taller – gravity is pushing me down….. I hated being tall when I was at school and all my friends were so much shorter, then I went out into the world and actually wished I was a couple of inches taller. Now my daughter is 5'10" and I feel small next to her.

  18. Thank you Purple. I was such a klutz going off to work one morning, tripped over and broke my humerus horizontally where it joins the shoulder and then vertically as well. Never say I do things half heartedly! 🙂

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