Closet secret ….


Most of us have a weird peculiarity or something in the closet that we are sheepish about admitting.  Some of these involve collections which are sort of irrational -  the feeling that something "bad"  will happen if we don't have a supply of an item or if we don't carry out a particular ritual.

I have never understood the compulsion some people have to run out and buy toilet paper if a storm is forecast. But then, I never let my supplies get so low that they could not cover even bathroom "emergencies" for a couple of days – and let's be real,  the weather in DC is never bad enough to keep you inside for more than a day or two.   

So, therefore, it is even harder to explain my obsessive need to have a huge supply of paper towels!   

This is a broom closet but I can not put any brooms in here because it is full of paper towels.  I can squash  3 packets of 8 rolls into this closet.  Each pack contains 29.8 sq metres (320.8 sq ft) of paper towel.   Each pack would cover more than a third of our house's roof area!  In my broom closet is enough paper to paper my entire roof with some overhang!

Now, I wouldn't normally draw this to anyone's attention because even I realise this is a bit excessive.  But week after week I add paper towels to my Peapod grocery order and I hide them away in the closet (and under the sink…).   Recently the manservant was helping and was beyond astonished to be adding another pack to my bulging collection.  What sort of Armageddon could possibly require this many paper towels? 


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51 responses

  1. i grew up with a mother that stuffed our entire house full of toilet paper. she still hordes the TP! i never tried to understand it, she has her reasons i i don't think it's nuts that you have a whole bunch of Brawny in your closet. one day you're going to need all of those paper towels and then you'll be able to say, "SEE!"

  2. Brawny: How cool is that for a paper towel name. We had Bounty (now renamed Plenty) but brawny implies that it's some sort of muscular paper towel system that beats the crap out of any spills (or your roof, by the sounds of it)
    I have about 50 rolls of TP in the garage, but only because it works out cheaper to buy in bulk from Costco than to get them from our local supermarkettery.

  3. Wow, I'm truly impressed by your bountiful collection of paper towels.That's marvellous, you are so never going to run out. I don't think we hoard anything much in our house but that's mainly because we don't have the space. If I had a bigger house I'd probably hoard loo rolls.

  4. you rock emjay, paper towel is very versatile,I love it and buy it weekly too. I also have an endless supply of cotton buds, look out if they run

  5. HAHA! I agree with Nikki! Paper towels are just about indispensable… you can't have too much paper towers… when I go grocery shopping with my Dad, he helps to fill out my cart with paper towels. We also have an obsession with tissue paper. But that's only cos of my frequent colds and sinusitis. My Dad always pointedly tells me he puts it in the cart because "YOU need it".
    Heh… but what a name for a paper towel. It's almost the reverse of the soft silky names that are more prevalent here. šŸ˜›

  6. Re: Your Closet Secret…Is this one of those ideas you get occasionally to challenge others to reveal something they'd rather not in the hopes of finding something extrememly funny? So you start off the conversation with something marginally revealing, ahhh, but suggestively interesting. Then just wait for someone out there in blogland to participate in playing "What's in your closet?" hmmmm, quite the puzzle… šŸ™‚

  7. well if it was tin foil I could see it used to keep the aliens out of your brain but paper towels Hummm! when you grew you did you live far enough away that the trip to the store was a once a week or maybe even longer so you learned to stalk up on things? usually that is just for food though, strange some thought on this one must I take!

  8. Just maybe the closet is really the gateway to another dimension that, if not filled with paper towels would be a horrible black hole into which you might fall and never return. How horrible would that be? Or, maybe you need to have a paper towel giveaway on your blog?

  9. Haaa – this had me in stitches. I'm the same way.
    I've never heard of the storm thing – but I hoard toilet paper like it's not being made anymore. One time we pulled up to the register at Stop and Shop and the clerk just looked at us with our grocery cart filled with like 40 rolls. J laughed and said sarcastically, "we just can't get enough toilet paper".

  10. You'll be covered for so many things in case of an emergency…your paper towels can be used as toilet paper, rags, large bandaids, female needs, plumbing problems & even as paper to write something on! You are one prepared woman! šŸ™‚

  11. LOL, I was going to say you could always use the paper towels as toilet paper but someone beat me to it.I obsessively save used bread bags and cans of baked beans, and I can't seem to be able to make myself throw away old sheets and towels even when they're so thin you can see through them.

  12. "Closet secret" Clever! But you surprise me. Thought you'd use rags instead of paper towels. Volunteer Simplicity! I have made the switch to rags but just can't give up the plastic storage bags- quart and gallon size.

  13. This is really interesting! I'm gonna let you in on a similar closet secret. I did the same thing with boxes of tissues AND paper towels. I grew out of it, somehow, eight or nine months ago. I don't know how it happened. Now I'm feeling a bit of the paper towel "shortage" again. šŸ™‚

  14. All my brooms & mops have to reside on the back deck because their cupboard is full of these paper towels. I fear that if I had more space I might find more things that I need to buy "just in case".

  15. Have you ever tried to mop spilt orange juice with dissolving toilet paper?LOL Nikki! That is quite an image and no I've never had to do it! Once I open the second packet I start feeling anxious that I am going to run out! šŸ™‚

  16. Ha LOL – the cotton buds. Here they are called Q-Tips and the first time I went trying to buy some the people in the pharmacy laughed at the name cotton buds. (they laughed at a lot of the names I would come up with actually).

  17. My Dad always pointedly tells me he puts it in the cart because "YOU need it".LOL – whenever I want something sweet I put it in the trolley and tell the manservant it's for him!

  18. …….but I try not to keep quite that much on hand! 8:-)You know, I get quite anxious once I start on the 2nd pack and then it's the first thing on the shopping list! šŸ™‚

  19. Is this one of those ideas you get occasionally to challenge others to
    reveal something they'd rather not in the hopes of finding something
    extrememly funny? LOL Raymond – it didn't work very well…. though I see I am not the only one with a penchant for collecting paper products!

  20. LOL – that is very funny re the tin foil. For many years there was only one supermarket in town and I think my mother would shop once a week there. The really big shop was once a month in a much bigger town about 1.5 hours drive away (they had 2 or 3 supermarkets – competition meant some lower prices).

  21. ……if not filled with paper towels would be a horrible black hole into which you might fall and never return.Well, now you have me so worried I will have to buy more and double stack them! Even if it means that I can not shut the door. LOL.

  22. …..we just can't get enough toilet paper".That is the sort of comment the manservant would make. I have to say that 40 rolls of TP at one time does seem a little many – I would build up gradually to avoid suspicion! LOL. šŸ™‚

  23. I can identify there. We eat so much fresh food that there are very few tins of anything stockpiled in case of emergency. We just don't have room – though obviously I would have room if I didn't have all those paper towels!

  24. I think I need to stockpile a few more tinned foods – looking in my little cupboard I see that we have very few and I won't be able to eat my paper towels in an emergency. I'm not sure about the sheets and towels though – I used to save them and then one day threw them out. THEN we had a huge storm and the windows of the apartment where we were living then couldn't handle the volume of water coming at them and I was really, really sorry that I had thrown those old rags out!

  25. I threw out the last of my meagre rag collection when we moved into our house (one less thing to move). Paper towels can actually go in a compost bin so I don't feel too bad about using them for everything as they end up back in the earth eventually. LOL – the storage bags – your comment made me open the drawer and see what I have in there. I have 2 boxes of each – not quite a collection ….. yet! I used to use them a lot but then I started collecting the plastic containers the Chinese food is delivered in and I use them for items/food I normally would've put in the storage bags.

  26. Now I'm feeling a bit of the paper towel "shortage" again. :-)LOL – do you feel a shopping binge coming on! It's a bit like a security blanket – I like knowing they are there even if I don't have to touch and feel them everyday. šŸ™‚

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