I had a weird surreal experience today…. I met a raccoon remover. This guy came in to collect a cheque from our office and while he waited for the Finance guy he said "guess what I was just doing?" (no idea) I just removed a rat infested roof from a building! Had to exterminate hundreds and hundreds of them".
By now I had already touched all his pieces of paper and was fervently wishing he would leave so I could Purell my hands half a dozen times!!
But, being the polite person that I am, I listened as he went on to tell me about being an expert "Animal Remover". Having just had the run-in with the raccoon I asked if he had to "remove" many around the area. "Oh yeah – you wouldn't believe how many. Where do you live?"
He got all excited: "Do you know there are over 90 raccoons per square mile in DC. I'm not making that number up – the science people worked it out. They live in empty houses and breed twice a year though they only do it once in the wild." (I assume he was talking about the raccoons here, not the 'science people').
He told me that they can just shimmy straight up drainpipes! In some states you can kill them in others you are "supposed" to capture them. (though I'm not sure what you do with them once you capture them).
I was of the opinion that in his mind exterminate was the better option.
Here is a man who clearly loves his work.
It has now been many hours since I touched his papers and had this bizarre conversation but somehow my hands still do not feel clean!
Even worse – now I am imagining all the deserted and foreclosed houses around us being full of rabid raccoons coming out at night especially to shimmy up our drainpipe and party on the deck!