Raccoon Remover …


I had a weird surreal experience today….   I met a raccoon remover.  This guy came in to collect a cheque from our office and while he waited for the Finance guy he said "guess what I was just doing?"  (no idea)  I just removed a rat infested roof from a building!  Had to exterminate hundreds and hundreds of them". 

By now I had already touched all his pieces of paper and was fervently wishing he would leave so I could Purell my hands half a dozen times!!

But, being the polite person that I am, I listened as he went on to tell me about being an expert "Animal Remover".  Having just had the run-in with the raccoon I asked if he had to "remove" many around the area.  "Oh yeah – you wouldn't believe how many.  Where do you live?"


He got all excited:  "Do you know there are over 90 raccoons per square mile in DC.   I'm not making that number up – the  science people worked it out.  They live in empty houses and breed twice a year though they only do it once in the wild."   (I assume he was talking about the raccoons here, not the 'science people').

He told me that they can just shimmy straight up drainpipes!  In some states you can kill them in others you are "supposed" to capture them. (though I'm not sure what you do with them once you capture them).

I was of the opinion that in his mind exterminate was the better option. 

Here is a man who clearly loves his work. 

It has now been many hours since I touched his papers and had this bizarre conversation but somehow my hands still do not feel clean! 

Even worse – now I am imagining all the deserted and foreclosed houses around us being full of rabid raccoons coming out at night especially to shimmy up our drainpipe and party on the deck!

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41 responses

  1. LOL – while this guy was in our reception he had two phone calls to remove animals – a raccoon and a groundhog. Who knew DC was such a wildlife haven! He also received half a dozen emails requesting his help … he was such a happy little chap – maybe the chemicals are getting to him!

  2. So that's why there are so many scientists now a days! They are getting it at least twice a year! Yes with his enthusiasm over his job would you really want to visit his home or have dinner there, in some Asian countries they eat rat and apparently raccoon taste like chicken!?? although when ever you ask how something taste they always say chicken! I heard of loving your job but that is a job he could have but unfortunately it is true about how many raccoons their are in cities their was a great show on raccoons in Toronto, and today when I had to go out I had one raccoon run across the road while the other one was stuck on the side where it was trying to climb up the rocks to get away!

  3. Raccoons are my favorite North American suburban wildlife. Well, chipmunks are pretty cute, too, but raccoons are really neat. But if they're a nuisance, they should be removed. A bird pooped in my hair this morning while I was waiting for the bus. I nearly threw up, trying to negotiate my dirty hand, crutches and book bag to look for tissues. My hand still doesn't feel clean and I've washed it many, many times with soap and hot water. Cannot wait to go home and wash my hair. Ugh, still gagging if I think about it too much. Just thought I'd share the ewww and commiserate over unclean hands.

  4. LOL Love this. I was listening to the scanner one time when I lived in MO. Heard where a woman had called the cops to come a remove a possum from her kitchen. I just laughed – wondering how in the world a possum would get in somebody's kitchen. Well…I wound up with a whole family of them who had to be removed one at a time as they showed up. I still shudder!

  5. (((((EMJAY))))ewwwwwwwwwwww for the unclean hands feeling………….totally understood!!!And OMGoodness — the mind-image of all those little raccoons in empty builidngs wearing their little robber-masks, plotting housebreakings………gah!!!!*runs*

  6. I can just picture the racoons now, white lab coats, masks, all talking science jargon, and the scientists all trapped in cages lol, hmmmmmmm, i think i am having one of those days lol

  7. Well, I guess you have to give him credit for getting a kick out of his job. It's funny how these kinds of people really do get a kick out of relaying their day to day job experience. I think they like to see the look on people's faces, people who wouldn't have the slightest clue otherwise, of all that revolves around their job 😀

  8. It is funny how it seems that raccoons are everywhere now that we have had one – like when you buy a new car and then see the same model everywhere. LOL. It is funny how people describe all "wild" food as tasting like chicken.

  9. The guy was so "into" it. He looked sort of grotty when he came in but I assumed "labourer" . Once he told me about the rats though …. eeeeewwwww!! I suppose someone has to do the job….

  10. LOL – yeah it's funny until it happens to us! I am getting paranoid about keeping the screen door locked now as it seems they are very clever with those little front "hands". There is an empty house across the alley from us so they don't need to come into mine – LOL

  11. He was so into his job and so thrilled to be asked about raccoons! It's the type of job that most of us pretend doesn't have to exist. A sort of "Dirty Job", Hope all is going well Hetta.

  12. LOL – yes no freeloading on Emjay's booze! A few times I found tomatoes with a large bite mark on them and I couldn't figure out what would eat them. Too big for a squirrel, a dog couldn't get in the yard. I suppose now it might have been a raccoon…..

  13. We have those large council bins on wheels – and … guess what? the animal remover had a story to go with that. Apparently one climbed up one of those types of bins and managed to open the lid and fall in – it died in there. I repotted a plant on the w/end and left it on the table of the downstairs deck – when I went to get it later it was half dug out – just like the hibiscus was up on the top deck when the raccoon was up there. I wonder …… !

  14. This IS disturbing! I think I just heard a racoon late last night right outside our bedroom. Now I'm thinking we should build a little hut for those guys so that we can co-exist in peace. Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about.

  15. They look cute enough to build a little hut for. It seems that they are clever enough to open the door too! I suspect that if you want to grow your own veggies though you might change your mind. 🙂

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