Yesterday was such a fun day! No interesting taxi ride to work for me…… instead the astro-dweeb rented a car and drove me to the hospital. A friend at work lent me her GPS thingy so we wouldn't get lost as we don't have a good record of getting to places straight off!
My nurse led us to a cubicle where I was given my gorgeous hospital gown with the obligatory broken off strings at the back, a "party" hat and a groovy pair of socks with non-slip white bubbles on the bottom. I got to leave my knickers on – which makes sense as they were operating on my foot - and given a non-co-ordinating second gown to use as a robe. Then I got to lie in a high-tech recliner waiting for the anesthetist and the doctor to talk to me.
We were able to hear patients around us. One deaf old guy had to have all his forms read out very loudly to him - he was having a cystoscopy. He told them that he did not want anesthesia as he was driving himself home. They said he couldn't do that but he insisted that he was very tough and in the end they agreed but they read out a lot more papers absolving them from everything if he crashed on the way home.
There was a woman having bunions done and she was demanding that her husband ask for valium to relax her. He said "ask yourself" … she did.
I told the astro-dweeb I was going to ask for some valium too…. and I did; the anesthetist said he could hand them out like candy but he thought I looked calm enough to do without. My doctor came in, cut off the cast and explained what he was going to do and then told me that I was going to have to inject something everyday into the subcutaneous fat of my stomach to prevent blood clots. Ah, no, no, no, I'm not going to do that!
"Well", he says "you could end up in a pine box" ..
Me: "I won't know if I'm in a box, but I will know if I break a needle off in my stomach!"
Now I need a valium!
After begrudgingly agreeing to self inject I was wheeled away into the operating room.
Electrode type things were put on my chest and neck to monitor my pulse and they had just put the drip in when my doctor appeared. I said "hey, I shouldn't be seeing you – don't start cutting yet!"
The next thing I know someone is asking "how do you feel?"
My first words: Hurting! It hurts!!
I was fortified with Demorol and Percoset and allowed to come home after a couple of hours. I have an humongous bandage on my leg with a shield of fibroglass along the back of my calf and over my heel.
The doctor told the astro-dweeb that the damage was much more extensive than he thought – there were actually TWO torn tendons and the ligament to repair and that the tendons were more "shredded" than just torn. One of them was so bad it was on the point of rupturing.
I'm thinking that I must be a pretty tough old bird to have been walking around with this for so long!!